[V7C15] Vertical
Translated by Jodas 7: To the NorthHaving stepped out of the First Spire: White Smoke saying “I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” Wren wandered aimlessly towards the garden.
Usually, he would head to that bench in the gazebo from here. If he went there, he would basically guarantee that he would run into Tia and Sevil.
But he didn’t have the heart to go there now.
If he went to the gazebo, he knew that his wish to be comforted by those two would be far too strong. That didn’t sit right with him, he wanted to put on a cool face.
“Ah……Augh…….”
Before he knew it, he was sobbing. Crap, he already had tears coming out.
Wren jumped behind a nearby bush and curled into a ball, holding his knees against his chest.
Tears dripped from his eyes and wetted his sleeves.
“Eugh… Augh… Oohhh…”
Apparently his mother had died from a cold that was going around.
But, it was said that his mother had long suffered from an illness in her lungs. Even without the cold, she would not have lasted much longer. Wren had only learned that from Kevin just now.
His mother was already in a terrible condition.
That was why she sent Wren to the Wedge Tower. There was only one exam every three years to enter the Wedge Tower. If he missed this chance, it would mean waiting three years. She wasn’t confident that she’d be able to live that long.
(I still haven’t been able to do anything.)
His plan had been to become a famous pretty-boy-genius-mage, make a whole lot of money, then invite his mother to live at his house.
Then, he would tell his mother:
It’s all thanks to your good looks I inherited, that I’ve become so popular and beloved at the Wedge Tower! I’m everyone’s favorite pretty boy!
Never once have I thought it was a burden that I was born looking just like you!
(I really, really wanted to say that, but…)
If this was what it came to, he shouldn’t have run away from home at all. Such thoughts bombarded his mind.
Yet, he also understood that his mother wouldn’t have wanted that.
She wanted Wren to live a free life.
(Even though Mom never got to be free…)
He didn’t want to invalidate the good intentions of his mother who pressured him to take the entrance exam, nor the determination he had when he decided to go.
Nevertheless, the reality that he couldn’t be there for his mother on her deathbed clawed at his heart.
(Then, what should I have done?)
“Piyo?”
A familiar chirping interrupted his jumbled thoughts.
Still curled up on the ground, Wren lifted his face slightly.
It was Tia and Sevil. Both of them wore determined faces as if they were on their way to the battlefield.
Wren wanted to say something to them. But, instead of a voice, the only thing that came out was a discomforting sob. He couldn’t even form a single coherent word.
(Leave me alone, let me be. I’m not a pretty boy at all right now. I’m in a horrible shape, I don’t want you to see me like this…)
“Wren, vertical or horizontal? Which one do you want?”
Wren replied with a confused, nasally “Hah?”
Tia repeated with a serious look on her face.
“Vertical or horizontal? Which one?”
“…Vertical, I guess?”
Having no idea what her plan was, he picked an option at random, to which Tia nodded, chirping “Pefun!”
“Piyopp! Formation: Vertical!”
Without missing a beat, Sevil stepped around behind Wren, stuck out her arms, and lifted Wren’s body off of the ground.
Then, she sat on the ground and placed Wren on her lap.
Following on, now Tia plopped herself down on Wren’s lap.
From front to back, Tia, Wren, and Sevil were now seated in one vertical stack.
Wren was at a loss, squeezed between Tia and Sevil. As he fretted, Tia spoke, facing away from him.
“This is our formation so Wren won’t have to be alone!”
“…The hell?”
“It was my proposal. If you chose horizontal, we would sit side-by-side.”
As she spoke, Sevil stretched her arms and pulled Wren into an embrace from behind.
Tia, sitting in front of Wren, waved her white hair back and forth.
“You know, if I had my wings now, I’d let you fluff them from behind, but since I don’t have my wings… You can fluff my hair instead!”
‘I’m not doing that!’ His quippy response wouldn’t come out.
Tia and Sevil said nothing more. They were content to just sit there, holding Wren tight. It felt warm and cozy.
Embraced in such warmth, Wren allowed himself to show a little weakness.
“…When I was little, a man I didn’t know came to the cabin outside the manor. It was the old boyfriend who my mom had been forcibly torn away from.”
Wren’s mother had been the most beautiful in her village, and she had been going out with a lover at the time.
However, her parents were blinded by money, and due to their scheme, she was dragged away to become the mistress of a wealthy man.
He didn’t know why her former lover had not rushed to visit her immediately. Whatever had held him back, he never forgot about Wren’s mother and snuck into their cabin.
“He came to steal away my Mom who had been forced to be a mistress. But I was there by then, and…”
When the former boyfriend noticed Wren, he said:
“Let’s leave that kid and go. I’m sure his father will take care of him.”
He still remembered that man’s plastered-on smile.
‘It’s for your sake, I’m sure it’ll be alright’ — With such hollow words, that man was trying to get rid of Wren.
In the end, his mother chased her former lover off, and Wren never caught sight of that man again.
Regardless, the thought always ate away at him.
Back then, had he not been born, would his mother have taken her old boyfriend’s hand?
“If I wasn’t there… I wonder if my Mom would have had a free life…”
He felt Sevil’s hands squeeze him even tighter from behind.
“I cannot provide a clear and simple answer to your conflict. I have felt conflicted in much the same way myself before.”
If he wasn’t there would his mother have been able to go free?
—The answer was probably “Yes.”
“That was something that the adults have decided on their own. To a child, it is nothing but an inescapable, incomprehensible cruelty. That a child might be forced to have such thoughts is an outrage! What are they expecting you to do!?”
What sort of face was Sevil making now?
Wren wouldn’t dare turn around to check. He supposed that was the purpose of Formation: Vertical.
“…Sevil, how do you deal with this sort of thing?”
“I don’t ‘deal’ with it. I am always, constantly enraged at the incomprehensibilities of the environment around me. That rage has become part of who I am today.”
There were no magic words that would make his guilt neatly disappear.
Even if someone were to kindly tell him ‘It’s not your fault,’ the self inside his head would refute that point.
Therefore, he had no choice but to embrace all of it and continue living. All the while, thinking about how best to fit it in with who he was.
Tia leaned her head back, pushing her white hair into him.
“Us Harpies don’t have strong ties between parents and children. I don’t really remember the Mom who gave birth to me… So to me, Wren’s Mom sounds amazing!”
“……”
“Wren’s Mom protected you for such a long, long time, didn’t she?”
A long, long time. That was right. As far as a Harpy was concerned, thirteen years was the better part of a lifetime.
“You know… I wanted to do so much more for my mother. I wanted to let her know that, thanks to her, I was the world’s strongest and happiest pretty boy…”
Wren hung his head, to which Tia rubbed her white hair against his forehead.
“But, I couldn’t do anything at all… I still can’t do anything…”
Wren lost all pretenses and broke down crying.
Such behavior was unbecoming of a pretty boy, but neither Tia nor Sevil could see Wren’s face, so it was fine.
His tears never went dry no matter how much he cried. They only kept pouring and pouring out. The back of Tia’s clothes got completely soaked.
He was sad over his mother’s death; he was frustrated over his own powerlessness; he was angry over the unreasonable situation he was placed in — all sorts of negative emotions melted together, coming out only as incomprehensible sobs.
As she listened to Wren’s sobbing, Tia thought to herself.
Monsters and humans really were more different than she thought.
Of course, she knew that there were tons of humans out there with just as many unique circumstances, and that these conflicts varied from person to person. Still, she could feel a fundamental gap between humans and Monsters.
Due to the racial traits of Harpies, they had little affection between parents and children compared to other species. The closest ties were between sisters instead.
Between Harpies and humans, their concept of ‘parents,’ their approach towards death, their way of dealing with grief — everything was different.
(…I can’t console Wren the way Sevil can. I can’t tell him ‘I understand that feeling.’)
That fact saddened Tia.
Therefore, she chose to hope.
“Wren, I think it’s okay for you to be as happy as you can be from now on. I want you to be happy.”
“…I wonder if Mom is watching me from Heaven.”
He got sad again, and Tia warbled “Pefun.”
Tia had a hard time grasping the concept of Heaven. She understood what it was in theory, but it didn’t make sense to her. Harpies never thought about what happened after they died.
So she couldn’t say anything nice like ‘I’m sure she is.’
Instead, she chose to say words that she was confident in.
“You can become anything, Wren. You can be the strongest, most beloved, happiest pretty boy; or you could be something else instead.”
Humans wanted to become something.
Tia found that strange, but now she could say that with quiet confidence.
“Wren, you’re a creature that can become anything you want. So, you should become a creature who is happy.”
That was the wish the Harpy Tia held for the human Wren.