[V10C19] Use Everything You Can, Even if it’s a Son of a Bitch
Translated by Jodas 10: A Job for a Con ManOnce he had left Assistant Headmaster Miriam’s room and escorted the Apprentices to their room, the third-rate con man Smoke Fox held his head in his hand.
(You know, I was just going with the flow when I said all that — but what am I supposed to do now!? Like, what the hell does it even mean to make Miriam trust me? Trust? Me? I can’t just keep telling people what they want to hear!)
The reason the Smoke Fox was merely a ‘third-rate’ lied in his habit to run his mouth with whatever words he thought sounded good at the time. And he would keep doing it unless he wringed his own neck.
What do I do, what should I do, how could I— For the time being, standing around too close to the meeting room meant he ran the risk of having some job thrust upon him, so Hütter chose to step outside.
As he walked, Hütter pondered.
(No, wait… I’ve already completed my mission, haven’t I?)
The Smoke Fox’s mission was only to ‘Investigate the reason why the Wedge Tower cut ties with the previous Emperor.’
The reason they cut ties was because Samuel Löwenich entreated with the Emperor for a plan to sell off the Autonomous Territory to another country. That was just about certain.
With that in mind, if he told that to the Black Lion Emperor, he’d be free to go… Actually no, he probably wouldn’t.
(Well, I still haven’t ironed out the details yet, and there’s still the question of what happened to the request I sent to Heidi… I did everything she asked me after all…)
He had done what he was supposed to, even if it was the bare minimum.
He should just abandon all the mages and Apprentices at the Wedge Tower and make his escape.
(…Maybe I should at least go check if there’s a good escape route.)
Taking stock of his escape routes, Hütter wandered around the village.
This village the Wedge Tower’s mages were taking shelter in was a tiny, lonely village with farms and not much else. It wasn’t the growing season, so the young had left to earn some cash elsewhere, so it was mostly elderly and children left.
Considering the Monster attack and the mages’ presence, unease was spreading among the villagers.
Just about the only good news was that the villagers weren’t treating the intruding mages poorly.
A wall-less village like this would occasionally be targeted by bandits or thieves. Especially in the off-season when the young men weren’t around.
At such times, the Wedge Tower mages stationed here would be the one to handle them time and again.
The mages would also assist in rescue operations in other disasters, and the Wedge Tower’s Medical Office would attend to those with heavy wounds the village was unequipped to handle.
Conversely, the Wedge Tower also benefited from this emergency shelter, and they would also assist in acquiring supplies and food.
Some of the Wedge Tower’s mages had family in this village, while some would commute to the Tower from here. Finance Office Director Eigen was one of them.
Eigen, right hand man to Spiremaster Abel of the First Spire: White Smoke, had thinning hair, a little weight, and generally had the air of a penny-pinching old man.
That same Eigen deeply loved his wife and had four daughters.
His two eldest married off to other villages, but his third daughter, the eight-year-old Flora Eigen helped out at the Wedge Tower’s sweets kiosk, pulling in even more customers.
Said Flora was now gathered with the other kids from the village, making pictures in the dirt with rocks.
“Oh, Mr. Hütter!”
“Hi there, Flora. What are you drawing?”
“A Princess~!”
Hütter knelt down beside Flora and the others and observed the image.
It was an image of a princess in a dress. Hütter recalled a newspaper he’d read not long ago.
“Oh I see, it’s Princess Cecelia, the one who married off to another kingdom, right?”
“That’s right~! Look, this is her wedding dress. These are her flowers, and this is a ribbon!”
“Oh, very nicely drawn!”
Princess Cecelia was the Black Lion Emperor’s younger sister and Sevil’s elder half-sister.
Known as the ‘Silver Moon Princess,’ Cecelia married the First Prince of the Kingdom of Ridill in a ceremony in the autumn.
The real Dream Mage, Caspar Hütter, had left the country to guard Princess Cecelia. Concerned that the newspapers might make mention of Cecelia’s bodyguard, he’d secretly kept an eye on them.
“According to the papers, apparently Princess Cecilia’s dress was white. They say she wore a veil of the highest quality Kollwitz lace over her pure-white dress.”
“What’s a veil?”
“Something like this, I suppose.”
Hütter leaned over and drew a veil on the princess on the ground. But, feeling the veil itself looked a little plain, he decided to add a crown of flowers on top. “Cu~te!” the girls squealed in delight.
“You’re so good at drawing, Mr. Hütter~!”
“An illusionist has to be good at replicating things accurately, you know.”
Hütter said with a confident smile, prompting one of the girls to speak up.
“I wanna see your illusions, Mr. Hütter!”
All of the other kids joined in agreement with a chorus of “Me too!” “Me too!”
‘Let’s see, I think I can satisfy them with a little sleight of hand…’ Hütter reached a hand into his robe.
But before he could pull his hand out from the robe, Flora calmed down the other kids.
“No way, my dad said it hurts Mr. Hütter when he uses illusions!”
“Aw, come on, that sucks!” The kids were disappointed. A shadow fell over their faces.
With the Monster attack still looming over them, the adults’ worries had surely transmitted to these kids. That was all the more reason to give these kids some merriment.
Maybe he should pretend to do some chantless illusion magic and make some flowers… But he could do more than that, couldn’t he?
The third-rate con man’s bad habit showed again. His habit of going with the flow and running his mouth.
“That’s right! With your help, maybe I’d be able to use illusion magic without chanting at all!”
The kids turned to Hütter in unison.
Eyes filled with anticipation. With those kinds of eyes on him, he felt a boost of confidence as his performer’s instincts took over.
“If you guys help me out, I’ll show you a fun illusion tomorrow.”
“Huh? What is it?”
Beckoning the curious kids to gather around, Hütter whispered the details of this ‘help.’
Once he’d made it back to the meeting house, Hütter located Sombart and Armster, grabbed them by the neck, and hustled them into a nearby empty room.
“Hey, Sombart. Armster. I need your help.”
Armster trembled, muttering “Are you going to execute me…?” while Sombart’s eyes lit up. Just like the village kids.
“You’ve got the face of a man planning something dastardly, Mr. Hütter! I like it! That’s a wonderful face!”
He had enjoyed seeing the kids’ eyes glow with excitement, but Sombart’s gleaming eyes belied a careless malice. His was a contemptible smile.
But the fact was he needed some extra hands. He had to use every tool available to him, even if that meant a smiley son of a bitch or a doll-obsessed weirdo.
“Game day is tomorrow. Sombart, I need you to get everything I tell you ready in a hurry. Armster, you brought the dolls with you when you fled, right?”
Armster awkwardly averted his eyes.
Not taking no for an answer, Hütter grabbed him by the collar.
“Someone like you is going to forget about saving people and rush out of there with your dolls, aren’t you? Huh? Don’t play dumb with me!”
“W– w– well i– it’s not like those kids could run away on their own, right? They’re not like people, you know!?”
“You’re supposed to be saving people, you idiot! …Well, whatever. What I want to know is, can your dolls do this?”
Hütter brought up a number of examples, and Armster’s face immediately tensed up.
Wondering if perhaps he was expecting a little too much from just some dolls, Hütter tried to think of some other ideas, but Armster replied quickly and sheepishly.
“…oo basic.”
“What’d’ya say?”
“That’s too basic. My dolls aren’t humans, you know?? It’s a given that they can move with way more precision and delicacy than mere humans can of course they can they’re not humans don’t just assume humans are the baseline for everything please give me a break Mr. Hütter…!!”
“…Y– Yeah, great…”
He had a smiley villain-obsessed son of a bitch and a misanthropic doll-obsessed son of a bitch. He had his misgivings, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.
Use everything you can, even if it’s a son of a bitch.
With that resolve, Hütter gave Armster his marching orders.